My history, part 2

About a year and a half ago I started exploring my sexuality and I could no longer deny that I was not attracted to men. I used to explain it away by saying that all the guys I met were jerks and I just had high standards. I also blamed it on the sexual abuse I experienced when I was 7. Even though I met some wonderful men, I have never been physically attracted to them. Now, I do have to say I have been attracted to some men but it's been on a non physical level. These men tend to be highly evolved spiritual beings. It was like an old soul connecting with another old soul.



I had come out to myself but quickly shoved myself back into my self imposed Ft. Knox. Then I got an assignment from my leadership class that turned my world upside down. I got an assignment to work out my sacral chakra. For those of you who don't know the sacral chakra is also know as the sexual and creativity chakra. Lo and behold as I started to explore this chakra these "issues" came up again. I decided I could not deny my feelings anymore, I am attracted to women. During this assignment I went to a study where the speaker was a MTF trans. This is where I felt some relief because I was finally able to put words to some of the feelings I was having. I have never fully identified as a female, but I don't have a desire to be male either. I learned that I can be both. But this also led to additional confusion. Was I bi?